Everyone in the whole world seems to have an mp3 player. It's like some scary brainwashing scheme on Dr Who. Walking down the Parade every morning, all the people are plugged in and studiously ignoring each other. I had to hide my faithful, battered iPod in my pocket - not to stop it getting stolen but to stop all the people with fancy new music players giving it pitying looks, or smirking at me. And I won't go into the horrors of pulling your headphones from the bottom of your bag and putting them promptly into your ears without checking if any rubbish has got stuck to them…

Paper is ridiculously easy to waste. I've re-printed things dozens of times just because I changed one word or moved one sentence. I've filled my notepad with huge scrawled notes, trying to keep up with the person talking, then not even been able to read it afterwards. I've seen lots of cheery notices at the ends of emails saying: "Consider the environment. Do you really need to print this?" Of course I don't need to print it, but if all offices use this much paper then it'd be a waste of time trying to conserve it.

Any attempt at a delicious healthy lunch from a high-street shop is delicious or healthy and not both. Low calorie drinks taste like chemicals, and low fat snacks aren't much healthier than the real thing but nowhere near as tasty.

Fruit and vegetables are bruised and tasteless, with strange textures from being on the shelf so long. Unhealthy as it is, fast food is cheaper and better advertised, and you feel good because you know it's bad.

Writing this article for the Courier today, as well as giving me a chance to ramble on about irrelevant things and helping me learn to type a bit faster, has made me realise a few things about myself: I am a very sad person and I need to get out less.

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