Every December, otherwise rational people make resolutions meant to transform them into organized, addiction-free souls with clean houses, healthy bodies, wholesome relationships, perfect children, and major career achievements. Basically the same vows they made last year and the year before that. Can our New Year resolutions make it past January 1? Can we make it to year's end without tearing up our carefully thought out lists?

I make resolutions every year, along with everyone else. History has indicated, that actually sticking to my self imposed 'life improvement plan' is not a safe bet. Does this prevent me from beginning each year with new resolve? Not a chance! Do past failures daunt me? No way! This is now, that was then.

This year I'm deadly serious, I'm going to do all the traditional things: lose weight, go to the gym I pay a monthly fortune to belong to, and never use, (the little dangly gym pass on my key ring 'aint' fooling anyone). It's painfully obvious I don't go as often as I should. That is all going to change this year of course.

Resolutions are the topic of conversation around here this time of the year, so I publicly tell everyone what I resolve to try and do.
It is in this vain attempt that maybe my promises under public scrutiny, will give me cause to try a little harder than if I keep them to myself. Sadly it didn't help last year, but that was last year, and I did manage to keep one, not to swig pop out of the bottle, when I thought no one was looking. Apparently I am not as sneaky as I used to be, I got caught several times, that helped.

In addition to all my obvious resolutions, I have added a few new ones. After 23 years of driving on Virginia's Roads, and attempting to remember my British manners, coupled with not wishing to become the next victim of the new, 'chart topping' crime of 'road rage', I resolve to buy a tank, and start ramming the idiots who drive like maniacs then give me 'the finger' for getting in their way.

I wonder why they haven't figured out that we all get to the next red light at the same time. It's so satisfying when I pull up next to them and reward them with a sarcastic sneer. I have a sports car, so guess who's first off the starting block? I also resolve to stop doing that.

I resolve to get strong, strong enough to lift up shopping trolleys easily. I then want to take them over to the car of the person who just left theirs in the middle of the car park, rather than walk five yards and deposit it in the correct place. I resolve to then slam it down on the bonnet while they gasp in horror. Oh yes, and I want to be strong enough, or fast enough to avoid being beaten to a pulp if the offender happens to be younger and healthier than I.

I resolve to publicly humiliate anyone brazen enough to park in a handicapped parking space when VERY obviously they have no sticker or handicap, whilst I drive around for hours looking for a place to park where Sammi doesn't have to walk miles.

From a personal stand point I resolve to figure out a way to come back in my next life as a cat. Mine have shown me that sleeping, eating, and getting their backs scratched at will is all they need in life, which has caused me to admire them more than most humans. I'd like to bet cats don't bother with resolutions either.

I also resolve to continue with my column this year, unless stricken, as I often am, by that terrifying condition known as 'writers block'. What began last February in a moment of introspection, began a journey for me, into the field of writing, something I have always enjoyed. I admit I have been astounded to find others have actually enjoyed reading my ramblings too. It has given me an enormous amount of pleasure, but most importantly I have felt a measure of closeness to Kenilworth that my life has lacked since leaving.

I begin each New Year with the hope I will make it home to Kenilworth. I'm not sure that will happen this year unless something remarkable happens to the dollar. There are rumblings in the Oakley clan, of a family reunion in the autumn when fares are cheaper. This, after much work from cousins Ian, Maria and Peter, on the family tree. If this comes to fruition, and I hope it does, then I'll be home.

Until then I hope to keep writing as often as I am able. I wish you all a happy, heathy and prosperous New Year.