Once I'd recovered from the fact it had been twenty years since she graduated, I listened in jaw dropping amazement as she filled me in on all the preparation that had taken place over the past year, for this grand event.

I'll say one thing for the Americans, they never do things simply. I imagined a nice dinner and a couple of pints at the local afterward. Catching up, sharing 'kid' pictures and sniggering behind backs.

Who had gained the most weight, who had the most wrinkles, whose spouse was the ugliest, whose car was the best, who lived in the biggest house, who made the most money and so on. You know, the usual stuff. According to Sharron those things did occur of course, but a simple event it was not.

A year ago committees were formed, then sub committees, monthly meetings were arranged.

It became a weekend event, beginning on Friday afternoon with a finger buffet, (shades of Hyacinth Bucket here) at Sharron's house, for the various committee members and their partners. The evening was spent cheering their school's football team on at the local stadium. Followed by a casual drink at one of the local bars.

The big event was on Saturday night at some posh hotel in Norfolk. Being MY daughter Sharron waits until the last minute to decide she has nothing suitable to wear. So at noon on Saturday I get 'the call'. Mum help! I have nothing to wear, nothing fits, I have gained half a pound, I look fat in everything! No-one could ever describe Sharron as fat. Anyway, I agreed to meet her at the mall to help her select a dress.

I despise malls and avoid them at all costs. After a couple of hours of trekking through the various shops and trying on dozens of dresses, she selected two, (keeping her options open), and I was free to leave, hooray!

I had Sammi with me, she'd been very patient, so I decided to let her do a little shopping of her own. She wanted to visit the toy store and select Halloween gifts for Emma and Christian. I'm so happy she did. I witnessed one of the most amusing battles of will.

Every now and then I hear a few words that have a truly profound impact on my life, I wasn't in church. I wasn't at a self-improvement seminar. I wasn't watching the Cartoon Network. I was in a mall.

The words I heard were both graphic in nature and obviously explicit in their meaning and direction. They will probably stick with me for the rest of my life. They were uttered by a child.

A fine young lad of approximately four years of age was having a heated debate with his mother. He wanted a toy, and she didn't.

Experience was already telling me who was going to win this exercise in verbal gymnastics - Duh, mummy was going to win - no doubt in my mind.

That's when I heard the "words." The words that had me doubled over laughing. Not because they were so inane, but because they were so pure and innocent and filled with the venom that only a four-year-old child can spew.